Laying in the hot sun on the hard dirt leading into the pole barn I was at the end of my abilities. Now I was just feeling defective.

Trying to fix things has never been my strength and if you put a tool in my hand there is a good likelihood I’ll make myself bleed.

This repair project on that minivan was only proving the point!

I tried everything I could think of, but I just couldn’t reach the bolt to remove the part I was trying to replace. The sun was brutal and the stuff in my way wouldn’t budge.

Then I started getting into my own head.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“This should be easy and I can’t figure it out”.

“Man, you’re just not good at this stuff”.

It was before YouTube, so I was on my own.

After hours of attempts, sighs, and bandages there I laid motionless, on my back, with my feet sticking out from under the vehicle.

“Why?” “Why can’t I do this?” “It’s right there and I can’t reach it!”

Then a young man who knew me happened to drive by, see me under the van and stopped to see what I was doing.

Ten minutes later he had the job done. Ten minutes!

For years a sense of deep connection with Jesus felt out of reach for me. Others seemed to make it a ten-minute job, but for me it was a frustrating experience.

I wanted to sense His presence not just believe He was present.

And then I’d get into my head about it.

“Man, this should be easy, why can’t I figure it out?”

“What’s wrong with me”?

“It’s right there, why can’t I reach it?”

It wasn’t that I questioned being a believer or knowing the Bible. It was that I didn’t sense the connection that the Bible described and I wanted it badly (Psa. 16:11, 23:5).

But I couldn’t reach it.

Distance with God was making me feel deficient, just like being unable to fix that van.

If that sounds familiar, don’t give up.

Sometimes God uses the struggle to prepare us for the solution. Then He sends someone who sees you, can help and might even make it look easy.

I’ve met a lot of people who claim to be deeply connected with God.

I’ve only met a couple who consistently live like they are. They are the ones I listen to, allow to teach me, and then do what they say. I read this guy more carefully too.

I’ve had moments now where I’ve experienced God’s presence in a way that makes me desire more. Genuine connection with God is far better than talking about it.

If you’re desiring this but it seems out of reach, you’re not defective. The struggle is part of the solution.

Here’s my question for you: Out of the twelve people closest to Jesus only one put his head on Jesus’ breast. What might be causing you to talk more about connection with God than experiencing it?

I’d love to hear more about your answer. Reply and share it with me, or better yet, jump into our community and share your comments about this post with others.

PS: Forwarding this email regularly is a great way to encourage others and partner with me in growing this ministry. Can you forward it to a few people you know and encourage them to subscribe? Thank you.

New (8/21) Upcoming Book Excerpt:

…But that was about to change. Bible now in hand, I sat back on that couch, looking at my daughter, having had my first real conversation with God. I just invited Jesus into my life and didn't know what to do next. But I did know it started somewhere in that Bible.

Lorie and I had gone through quite a rough spell in our young marriage and had come to the place where we knew that God needed to be a part of our journey forward. Neither of us grew up with religion and we had lots of questions. It seemed like everyone had an opinion but neither of us thought it would start on the floor of a little cape cod in Greece, NY.

At age thirty-one, and for the first time in my life, I believed I was holding God’s word and the key to a brighter future. That Bible was the biggest book I'd ever picked up. It was intimidating to say the least and I was clueless how to begin. I didn't know what to expect but I had heard enough about it to feel overwhelmed before I even began.

So, I started where most people do: “In the beginning God” (Genesis 1:1). I couldn't explain it at the time, but those words felt right. A shift had occurred and I was feeling something new and inviting. When you finish chapter two of this book, you'll understand what I didn't at the time.

Because of my brother Scott's love and genuine concern for Lorie and me, we finally had the map and compass for the journey we were about to set out on. Walking into a new paradigm of life full of adventure and discovery, we had God’s word to guide us…

You can read the rest of the excerpt in the community space. Just click on the link below:

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